


'cause you left me in the hallway

by maleclipse



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Letters, M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25289809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maleclipse/pseuds/maleclipse
Summary: It felt so wrong to be back there, staring at the hallway that once took Andrés away from him, but Martín kept going. One foot in front of the other.(or, martín goes back to the monastery after andrés' death and finds something he didn't expect.)
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote
Comments: 9
Kudos: 50





	'cause you left me in the hallway

**Author's Note:**

> interesting, very interesting. it's angst day again. 
> 
> title from meet me in the hallway by harry styles.

It felt so wrong to be back there, staring at the hallway that once took Andrés away from him, but Martín kept going. One foot in front of the other. The monastery was once part of Martín, his home now filled with memories he couldn’t stand to look for. Following Martín there was a shadow of regret.

Where Andrés had once left him, there was now a room filled with just white sheets, covering the fragile pieces of art and furniture Andrés had so dearly loved. Sometimes it felt like maybe more than he had loved Martín. 

It felt so wrong, but Martín needed something real, something to hold on to while he mourned. He didn’t know what it was, yet, but surely the room would hold something. It felt so wrong, but Martín carefully started lifting the sheets. He felt like choking on his own breath, seeing the room return to life. 

He took a moment to just stare, and broke down to tears. 

Seeing Andrés go had already been too much. Hearing about his death had been a push towards the final destination of that horrible story that had become Martín’s life. Being there, back in the monastery— well, Martín didn’t even know how to describe it. It was like looking at the mirror, but with multiple sides and all of them reminding him of something he didn’t like. 

Maybe he was a mess, for sitting down to the floor and burying his head to his hands and screaming as loud as he possibly could, but that was what he needed. 

It was only when he raised his gaze, to look around the room, when he noticed a stack of letters on the ground. Was it wrong to pry on dead man’s possessions? Martín didn’t think so, as he had once considered himself as the dead man’s lover. 

If someone was to see in the room right now, it would probably look almost comical how Martín crawled the floor to get where he wanted, slammed his hand on top of the letters and pulled them to his chest. Some of them fell to the floor, he hugged those that were left. 

Something caught his eye - one of the letters on the floor. _Martín_ , it said with Andrés’ cursive handwriting. Martín felt like he was hallucinating it, slowly letting the rest of the letters fall to the ground. _Martín_ , on top of each of them. 

He wanted to scream, or laugh, maybe cry again. He felt almost hysterical, grabbing on one of the letters with shaky hands and ripping it open. He opened the folded paper, couldn’t keep it in his hands and laid it down on the floor. 

_Martín_ , it said again. 

_I’m sorry it had to end like this, I_

Nothing more, just that. Martín let out a shaky breath and took another one of the letters in his hands, opened it. 

_Martín,_

_I’m sick. I wanted to_

To the corner of it, Andrés had scribbled flowers - something he had done when he was anxious. It had taken Martín years to figure out where all of the post-it notes with different kinds of flowers had come from. 

The next letter only said, _I want to apologize._

It felt almost like having Andrés there, seeing his failed attempts. It was so _human_ , something that Martín sometimes failed to remember about him. That Andrés was just a human. 

He took another letter, opened it and was met with a page full of text. It looked polished, like it was the one Andrés had wanted him to see.

_Martín_ , the letter started with, again. Martín’s throat felt tight.

_The way I left you wasn’t how I wanted things to end, but I needed to follow my brother. You know how I am with Sergio. I needed to do this, for him. He needed me._

_Now, I do know you needed me too. I’m sorry. But that’s why I’m coming back - after all this is over. I’m coming back to you. You wouldn’t see this letter if I wasn’t the one giving it to you. Maybe I’m late, but better late than never. Or so I like to think._

_There is something I didn’t tell you, I didn’t have the guts to. I am sick, and I wish to spend the rest of my days with you. I know you won’t leave our plans unfinished - we could melt gold together! I mean, we both know it will be almost impossible for both of us to get out of there alive, it would all work out perfectly._

_I am so very sorry for causing you pain, my love, because it was not my intention. You are my soulmate, Martín, and you always will be._

_Of course I love you, Martín. And I sincerely hope you can forgive me._

Martín sincerely hoped he could forgive Andrés, too. 

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me in the comments, or if you want, i have [twitter](https://twitter.com/LACASADEKLAUS) too.<3 as always, every comment and kudos means everything to me.


End file.
